(no subject)

[southernmedicine]

It's 2:27am and for some reason, I spent the last hour reading through my old livejournal posts.

From 2002.

I try not to use the word 'cringe' too often, but hooooolllly shit I was c r i n g e at that age. Oh no. It is insane to see what a different person I was 20+ years ago. It sort of allows me more respect for the person I am now. How's that for a positive, uplifting suggestion? If you're feeling disappointed in yourself or unhappy about who you are and where you're at in life right now... go and take a peek at your past self.

-

I'm not officially doing the Fandom Snowflake Challenge, but I do like this one, so I'm just going to do it in an unofficial capacity:

#15: Fandom Snowflake Challenge's 2023 Fandom Wrapped!


Your top 5 fandoms for 2023 were:
1. Star Wars
2. Star Trek
3. Marvel (MCU, XMCU, & comics)
4. The Boys
5. Good Omens

Your top 5 fandom spaces (Discord, Twitter, etc.) in 2023 were:
1. Discord - I talk to most of my friends here, and also it's where I RP.
2. Dreamwidth - I mean... yeah.
3. Instagram - Weirdly enough? Lots of fandomy stuff here, especially fanart and pins.
4. AO3 - Readin' and writin'.
5. Conventions! - Always a great fandom space.

The top 5 things you did to contribute to fandom in 2023 were:
1. Read fic and left kudos & comments.
2. Wrote a little bit of fic (all exchanges and challenges).
3. RP. A lot.
4. Doing fills for stockings and trees and boxes and holiday wishes, ect.
5. Broke back into the cosplay scene.

Your top 5 most appreciated fandom contributions were:
Sorted by kudos because I don't really know any other way to do it.

1. playdates
hawkeye | yelena/kate
the one from the pov of the dogs.

2. and puppy makes three
boyfriend material | luc/oliver
the one where luc and oliver adopt a puppy (y'all like dog stories, huh?).

3. tinder
star trek aos | jim/spock
the one where the enterprise crew are firefighters.

4. come find me with the sun
animorphs | rachel/tobias
the one where they fly.

5. what fresh hell
star trek aos | jim & leonard
the one where leonard's havin' a hard day.

To be honest? Most of my published stuff with the most kudos are from 2022, heh.

Your fandom personality in 2023 was: (i.e. Fandom Eeyore, Twitter Refugee, Discord Party Animal, etc.)
Sad Girl Hours

In 2023, you discovered: (that you adore hockey RPF, but you hate the Liberty Mutual emu, etc.)
That I get the most joy out of leaving treats and doing fills, and that if I'm just writing for myself, I will absolutely, 1000%, without a doubt never ever finish anything.

Your fandom home in 2023 was: (Bluesky, Mastodon, Middle Earth, lying in my bed, with a good book, etc.)
I spent the most time on discord (and continue to do so) but dreamwidth feels like the place I come home to after a long day, you know? It's peaceful. It's calm. It's welcoming. I can be my authentic self.


-

This past week I finished season 2 of What If...?, season 8 of Queer Eye, and my re-watch of Ahsoka. I'm trying to get through both Andor and Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, but it's slow going. I also watched The Marvels and Wonka which I actually liked quite a bit, and Wish, which I wasn't very impressed by given it was meant to be this huge, big-deal celebration of a movie to serve as the 100 year Disney milestone. It was just sort of meh, and a lot of people speculate that the script, or at least the songs, may have been written by AI.

I finished the Starfleet Academy graphic novel, and have started reading The Anxious Hearts Guide by Rikki Cloos.

Comments

[reeby10]

That I get the most joy out of leaving treats and doing fills, and that if I'm just writing for myself, I will absolutely, 1000%, without a doubt never ever finish anything.

I'm a lot like this too! It's so much nicer having someone to write for.

[southernmedicine]

This is how I live my life in general haha.

[svgurl]

I have seen comments and posts from even 2007/2008 on LJ and I cringe at myself too so totally relatable feeling. I think you got the right message out of it, about growing.

that if I'm just writing for myself, I will absolutely, 1000%, without a doubt never ever finish anything.
This is so me. I will procrastinate forever if I am just writing for myself.

I wanted to watch Wish but it seems "meh" is the general consensus reaction, which is too bad. It looks like it could've been fun.

[southernmedicine]

Parts of it were fun, but it was just. So structured? Some of the dialog was really weird, like they just explained everything in weird detail (one of the reasons people suspect AI), none of the songs were memorable and most of them had very weird tempo (another AI thing).

Loved Chris Pine and his character! So there is that!

[pianogurl330]

I was looking at old LJ entries recently too and just cringing at what I wrote and who I was back then.

I keep forgetting to watch Season 2 of What If...?. Glad to hear Wonka is good!

[manicdragonfly]

I periodically go back and read through old RP chatlogs from fandoms past, and through LJ books I made before I obliterated whatever journal it was from whichever platforms I was on 20 years ago. I still try to "clean up" my digital trail because omg I was such a mess even as late as 2018. I am so proud of past me for surviving until today because the Dark Stuff I was roleplaying/psychologically processing at that time was Serious Shit.

I like to think nowadays I'm more stable and optimistic about life and whump the muses just because a little bit of suffering is good for character development.

But I also spent literally an hour and a half this morning researching the extant present-day international law and revising the definition of genocide for a nonexistent 23rd Century context to include cultural groups not defined by nationality, race, ethnicity, or religion.

So clearly I am still Not Really Okay. Such is life, I suppose.

[southernmedicine]

Are any of us really, truly okay?

I have contemplated trying to scrub my digital footprint many, many times. Oof.