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southernmedicineOn Friday, I got up early, drove the 40 minutes to work on the toll roads, and found out that the clinic was closed because the entire staff had tested positive for COVID. They had called me, and I had a voicemail, but my phone had never pushed the notifications. Thanks, asshole. So I drove another 40 minutes home, payed more money to the toll roads on the way, and went back to bed.
(I did test myself, and I did test negative.)
This whole weekend, all I did was read fic, and read fic, and read more fic. Do you ever read fics that are just so goddamn amazing that it makes you tremble on the inside because you know that you could never churn out that kind of quality, and then suffer some dumb self-confidence spiral where you just sort of never want to try to write anything ever again? Because I did. While at the same time eating these stories up like they were dipped in milk chocolate, and laughing, and crying, and feeling so very deeply about the storytelling. To be at once inspired and also cowed into wanting to quit, is quite a mixed bag of feelings.
Am I on track for all the challenges I've signed up for? No. But am I still going to do them? You bet. Probably.
I haven't been participating in any weekly challenges lately, even though many of them have caught my eye, because I've just been. I dunno. In my shell. All I've wanted to do is read and watch things, trying to close a bunch of these tabs and finish a few books I've had laying around. Aside from that all I've done is eat grocery store sushi and pizza, drink spiced rum mixed with cream soda (try it, oh, I promise you good things), and nap on the couch. Still kind of bummed about relationship stuff. Still kind of skirting the jagged edges of a depressive 'sode, but my roommate returned from his trip today so now I at least have to shower and feed myself properly, like a good roommate. Guess I just had to get living like a pitiful degenerate out of my system. I'm okay!
I may or may not have to go into work tomorrow depending on whether I have any patients booked, but regardless, this week I'm getting my shit together. I'll be swapping garbage food for cooked meals, and swapping my rum and cream soda for water and tea. I'll be ready! To! Write! Honestly. I feel the urge and I'm ready to get some stuff done.
(I did test myself, and I did test negative.)
This whole weekend, all I did was read fic, and read fic, and read more fic. Do you ever read fics that are just so goddamn amazing that it makes you tremble on the inside because you know that you could never churn out that kind of quality, and then suffer some dumb self-confidence spiral where you just sort of never want to try to write anything ever again? Because I did. While at the same time eating these stories up like they were dipped in milk chocolate, and laughing, and crying, and feeling so very deeply about the storytelling. To be at once inspired and also cowed into wanting to quit, is quite a mixed bag of feelings.
Am I on track for all the challenges I've signed up for? No. But am I still going to do them? You bet. Probably.
I haven't been participating in any weekly challenges lately, even though many of them have caught my eye, because I've just been. I dunno. In my shell. All I've wanted to do is read and watch things, trying to close a bunch of these tabs and finish a few books I've had laying around. Aside from that all I've done is eat grocery store sushi and pizza, drink spiced rum mixed with cream soda (try it, oh, I promise you good things), and nap on the couch. Still kind of bummed about relationship stuff. Still kind of skirting the jagged edges of a depressive 'sode, but my roommate returned from his trip today so now I at least have to shower and feed myself properly, like a good roommate. Guess I just had to get living like a pitiful degenerate out of my system. I'm okay!
I may or may not have to go into work tomorrow depending on whether I have any patients booked, but regardless, this week I'm getting my shit together. I'll be swapping garbage food for cooked meals, and swapping my rum and cream soda for water and tea. I'll be ready! To! Write! Honestly. I feel the urge and I'm ready to get some stuff done.
