(no subject)

[southernmedicine]

Today when I went downstairs I was informed that a nephew and his son would also be moving into this house, and staying "for a couple of months."

G o d.

That makes me, my cousin, his wife. Her sister, sister's husband, their nephew, and his son. Seven people. These newcomers are also from the Philippines and also do not have much English, bringing it up to four out of six roommates that I cannot effectively communicate with. It's a little stressful, but at least when I am home I spend nearly every minute shut up in my room, and I am leaving in just a little over a month anyway.

To be clear, I have zero problem with more members of their family being here and I have less than zero problem with people who don't have much English; the in-laws try their best and I have even been working with them a little to pick up a handful of words so that we can at least exchange pleasantries.

What is stressful is how much smaller the house feels all the time, how many people I have to share a bathroom with (five of us in one bathroom now) and how much noisier and more chaotic it's about to be. I also don't necessarily feel super comfy leaving my room unlocked and unattended when there is a teenaged boy I don't know hanging around, bored, while I'm at work all day. I do not automatically think ill of anyone, but I have a lot of triggers associated with people going into my room when I'm not home and looking through my stuff (thanks mom).

So I dunno. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure that because I have so much work to do and wish that time would slow down, it's sure to move ahead even faster, so there is that.

To prepare for watching the new Final Destination: Bloodlines I am re-watching all the others. It's been a fun blast from the past, if somewhat sobering to realize that the first one came out twenty five years ago.

I've been trying really hard to read more, because I need to, I want to, and I also want to donate more of my books to the local library before I move. I'm about halfway each done with Jennifer Government by Max Barry and How I Learned To Snap by Kirk Read. I'm enjoying both, but neither are books I feel I need to read more than once (which exactly the selection I've tried to line up, on account of only wanting to donate books I don't wanna keep, obviously!).

Super delighted to hear that, according to the ACLU, more than five million people attended No Kings protests across the country. My girlfriend attended her local protest with her sister and brother-in-law, and I'm so proud of her, not only for going but for being the kind of person who gets really fired up about justice, equality, and humanity in general. I was concerned about her, because I am a veteran protester myself, but all the protests I have ever attended have been in Los Angeles which... is a wildly differing environment from her little Midwestern college town. I stopped by my own local protest for a bit, but it was badly organized, and plagued with anti-protest visitors waving Trump flags and throwing trash at protesters. Very disheartening, but I live in one of those rare deep red pockets that is unfortunately rife with Trumpers, Teslas, and pro-ICE rhetoric, so it wasn't too surprising if I'm honest. I had to leave when I recognized one of the flag wavers as a patient from work.

DnD tomorrow though, that'll be fun.

Comments

[spikedluv]

I feel you on having more people making the space feel smaller, along with more noise and chaos. I hope the next months goes by quickly.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Today when I went downstairs I was informed that a nephew and his son would also be moving into this house, and staying "for a couple of months." <<

It's stressful just living somewhere that you don't get to choose what happens in your home because someone else makes those choices for you.

>> That makes me, my cousin, his wife. Her sister, sister's husband, their nephew, and his son. Seven people. <<

Yikes, that is a lot. Sometimes it's okay if a home is big enough to have separate areas for folks to spread out, like older homes often do; but the later they're built, the more likely they are to have a "modern" layout like the open floor plans that are terrible for larger families.

>> These newcomers are also from the Philippines and also do not have much English, bringing it up to four out of six roommates that I cannot effectively communicate with. <<

That's challenging.

In my locale, some towns have a lot of Hispanic folks, not all of whom are fluent in English. We sometimes practice our bits of Spanish with them. Another town has people from Asia, India, and Africa among others. One of our favorite African restaurants has a waitress who only speaks French -- which is among the bravest things I've ever seen anyone do, working a public-facing job while not speaking the local language.

>> It's a little stressful, but at least when I am home I spend nearly every minute shut up in my room, and I am leaving in just a little over a month anyway.<<

Well, that's good. It's easier to put up with stress when you know things will get better soon.

Something else to think about: at least you have a family that sticks together and supports each other even in hard times. That is increasingly rare in America today, so in that regard you are better off than most folks here. When family shatters down to ones and twos, that makes it really hard to get by. If you can do little things to help your relatives now, they're likely to remember that, and maybe someday return the favor when you need help. So much of that has been lost. I am happy to hear that some families are still sticking together, even if it's hard on them, so thanks for sharing that experience.

>> the in-laws try their best and I have even been working with them a little to pick up a handful of words so that we can at least exchange pleasantries.<<

What do they speak? Filipino, Tagalog, Cebuano? Or one of the smaller heritage languages? If you have the energy, consider trying to learn a few basics of those. More and more people are being displaced, and while the Philippines are steep islands they are still islands which is precarious in a time of climate change. So the more people who can speak even a little bit of extra languages, the easier it will be to cope. Basics like hello, good morning, yes, no, left, right, where is the bathroom? etc. can really help smooth the way. In a domestic situation like yours, I'd add things like "The bathroom is out of toilet paper" or other common issues.

If people are pitching in to keep up the house together, a chore chart might help organize what's already been done or needs doing. That can be done with picture icons instead of written words -- or if you want to practice, bilingual in English and heritage language.

There are also communication boards with icons in vocabulary batches, like a bathing card or grocery card. That can be super useful if you don't have someone available to translate all the time. There is software so you can make your own boards based on needed vocabulary, or you could find icons online to print hardcopies, or even just draw things (which is how it started, and is probably a million years old or thereabouts).

https://www.myboardmaker.com/Activity/26990128

>> What is stressful is how much smaller the house feels all the time, how many people I have to share a bathroom with (five of us in one bathroom now) <<

Yeah, the ratio of butts to seats has a lot to do with how "crowded" a place feels. That part isn't easily fixable in town, although in a rural situation, a bucket toilet or outhouse can reduce the pressure.

One trick that does help in town is to use other places' toilets as much as possible. Instead of always going before you leave home, plan to hit the nearest public toilet after you leave, and do the same before returning home. The fewer times each person uses the house toilet, the less crowded it will feel.

However, there are ways to tweak other things that people use a bathroom for. Hair can be washed in any sink, like a kitchen sink. A bucket bath works, especially for young children. There are ways to rig a shower outdoors in mild weather, if you have a yard; people do that for camping. Doing makeup, brushing hair, and most other personal care can be done with any big enough mirror to see yourself.

As with toilets, look for places that have showers, especially ones you don't have to pay for or are really cheap. Some places may have a "family" option where you could all go together and hit a showerhouse for one price. Community centers, public pools, parks, and truck stops are a few options.

Talk with other immigrant families, as they are likely to have ideas on making a crowded situation more bearable for everyone. Homesteading websites or magazines will have ideas for "off-grid" living, some of which are useful in town with a crowded house. Sharing wisdom doesn't just make the situation more livable, it makes it into more of a shared experience.

>> I also don't necessarily feel super comfy leaving my room unlocked and unattended <<

I would not feel comfortable about that either. Most sharehouses have individually locking doors for that reason.

>> It's been a fun blast from the past, if somewhat sobering to realize that the first one came out twenty five years ago.<<

One thing I love about the Jurassic Park franchise is that sense of time passing inside the canon. Some characters have swag from the original installation. The Nublar Six weren't even born when that happened. Dinosaurs have appeared in more places, the technology to make them has advanced, and so on. It's a surprisingly accurate rendition of how a new technology spreads.

>> I've been trying really hard to read more, because I need to, I want to, and I also want to donate more of my books to the local library before I move.<<

All good ideas. The lighter the load, the less the work when you do move.

>> I am a veteran protester myself <<

I've been an activist since I could walk and talk. I can remember sitting on the floor of the garage as a toddler helping my parents paint signs. I've done a wide range of activities. Interestingly, the one with the highest throughput of people saying "I did the thing" is plain old storytelling. I show people what it could look like in a healthier society, and that is enormously popular. I can fight a lot of isms just by representing diverse characters in my writing. So it's where I focus much of my attention currently.

One thing I miss is how activists used to be a culture of people who milled around different issues, and didn't want to get too aggressive with each other because the person across the street from you for today's issue might be on the same side for tomorrow's issue. Now people are mostly in their little clusters of activists with the same issues, and they don't mix, so there's less incentive to remain civil. :/

>> unfortunately rife with Trumpers, Teslas, and pro-ICE rhetoric <<

Illinois is mostly red with a blue splotch in Chicagoland. That sucks. But recently our representative said something that made me feel super represented for once: "I refuse to be lectured to by someone who extols the virtue of Hitler." \o/

>> DnD tomorrow though, that'll be fun. <<

Yay!

[peaked]

Wow, sounds like a party! /s I hope things go smoothly with the additional people coming in. I don't blame you for wanting to lock your room, though. Just do what makes you feel good, and don't worry about how it comes across.

I recently watched all the Final Destination movies except for the latest, and I can understand now why so many people have fears of dying in ridiculous ways lol. Also, 2000 was not 25 years ago, C. Please, learn how to maths!

Enjoy DnD!

[reeby10]

That's a lot of people in one house! I can see how it would be stressful even without the language barrier and not knowing them.

Good luck reading through your books!

[svgurl]

Oh yeah, that is a lot of people and I can definitely imagine you would feel suffocated. Hope you're able to manage okay for the next month!

[pianogurl330]

I'm sorry about all the people in one house! That sounds so stressful! :(

That's awesome your girlfriend attended her local protest! Sorry to hear that your local one was badly organized and was plagued with anti-protestors. :(

I hope you had fun at your DnD!